Paranoia and Stress...

The last month or so hasn't exactly been filled with candy, sunshine, and puppy dogs for me. I've gone through a bit of trauma over the last bunch of weeks and as a result I think I've shouldered some stress that I don't think I'd normally face. Loosing my car, my girlfriend, and a job opportunity doesn’t exactly make a picnic. Not to mention, the added financial stress of getting a new ride, doing some repairs to it and the fun of holiday shopping all add up to a few extra miles of wrinkles on the 'ol forehead. Don't get me wrong some of this stuff has actually been good for me too, and has brought me some new opportunities to consider so it hasn't been all bad either.

The reason I mention it though, is because of my heart condition. I've been experiencing some discomfort via muscle pain in my chest and lungs. Some of it has been heartburn like pain, while other times I feel isolated places of pain much like the feeling of a small marble underneath the skin right on the rib cage. Of course any time I feel pain or discomfort in my chest area, I need to examine and evaluate type of pain so I can try to rule out angina as the source for the discomfort. If I'm suffering angina, that means I'll likely be admitted to the hospital again, put through a battery of tests and then subjugated to more time off from work for additional rehabilitation. This in itself generates its own stress, making me wonder if my worrying is actually causing the "alleged" condition to worsen.

The other part of my worry is centered on the fact that I haven't had the time to do enough exercise recently, and combined with less than spectacular eating habits, I am panicking that I am hastening my approach to an early demise. Of course when I look at everything with a more constructive approach it is not as bad as all that. The fact that I am suffering from abnormal chest pains makes me a little paranoid and I can't help but wonder if I could be doing more to keep this from happening. I should increase the physical activity and add more greens to the diet and take away a little more red meat. I need to use less salt, reduce coffee intake and stop immersing myself in a smoky bar environment to play darts in.

My weight hasn't gone up so that at least is a comfort, but I do worry about keeling over if I go to hard on the exercise. I’d rather not push my heart with activity until I know what’s going on. The fear just seems to build on itself doesn't it? So after putting myself through some mental gymnastics over what I'm doing right and what I can do better, I've decided that it is time for me to see my cardiologist again. You would think that wouldn't be such a hard thing to do.

Let me tell you, they are not easy folks to make an appointment with. I was supposed to have one back in August after I finished my initial round of rehabilitation. I didn't make it, missed my appointment, and didn't get around to rebooking it till the end of September. Well, it was bloody difficult trying to get a hold of the nurse that is assisting Dr Boyne. When I called she told me that Dr Boyne hadn't made up his fall schedule for clinic appoints yet and that I would be at the top of the list when he did. Well, I didn't hear anything over the course of the next month and a half. She said she would call me to let me know what appointment she had reserved for me. In that time I also had my car accident and was without wheels for about a month too. So I wasn't actually rushing to get it booked again, especially knowing that just getting there would be a pain. Well, the middle of November rolls around, and now I'm having these irregular chest pains. I'm thinking that now is a good time to follow up on that booking.

I placed a call to Dr Boyne’s office and I didn't hear back from the nurse for almost a week. This week I finally talk to her, and she has "graciously" squeezed me in for an appointment in December. She makes it sound like she was doing me a huge favor too. This appointment didn't exist until she went to bat for me. Ummmm.... wasn't I supposed to be at the top of the list back in September? Weren’t you supposed to give me a call to let me know what you had slotted me in for? Did you forget and now I’m stuck holding the shitty end of the stick? What the hell? She didn't have anything earlier than the 20th of December either. So I tell her that I'm not feeling that good either and would like to get in sooner. Her response: "Go see your family doctor if you're not feeling good". If I had been clutching my chest on the floor, she just would have said to go to the hospital. What the heck do I need a cardiologist for if I can just go see my family doctor? Is this chick for real? Admittedly I wouldn't be in this situation if I had just stayed on top of my appointment back in August and made sure to re-book right away when I originally missed it to begin with. So yes, some of the blame is my fault. Still, I figured that the cardiologist would really like to see me if I'm over due by 3 months for an appointment. I mean it's not exactly like I'm over due for an appointment to get a wart looked at or anything... it is my frickin' heart after all. sheesh!

Anyway... I think my worry is probably over nothing. When I first started taking this heart medication, I was told that there would be some side effects. I might experience some muscle pain, and discomfort as well as a gaseous feeling as well. I have noticed that when I burp my "marbles of pain" disappear and I feel better immediately. So I'm sure that this is only a temporary condition. Still, it would make me feel a whole lot better to see my doctor about this. I guess I will be making that appointment to see my family doctor after all.

I think as I get older I think I am turning into a hypochondriac. I remember being a kid and never really paying attention to the things my body was telling me. I couldn't tell what was normal or what wasn't. I couldn't tell that my body was running in over drive if I went out drinking for the weekend and only managed 4 or 5 hours sleep each night. I wouldn't have realized that a daily bowel movement is a healthy thing. I picked up on the obvious stuff of course. If you broke your arm or leg, you knew that wasn't normal. When you sneezed you figured you were getting a cold and were probably right. Muscle pain was something that happened when you worked out too hard or went to crazy with the extreme sports. It also went away. Now I seem to freak out over stuff that would never have bothered me before. Mortality seems to be a bigger concern these days. I do know that these “marbles of pain” in my chest are not normal - that worries me. I might be paranoid but I somehow suspect that is a better choice than ignoring the warning signs until it is too late to do something about it.

UFC 65 - George St Pierre wins!

I am a huge Mixed Martial Arts (mma) fan. I particularly enjoy the Ultimate Fighter combat (UFC) matches. I've been following a Canadian fighter quite closely and on this past Saturday he (George St Pierre) beat the reigning welterweight (170 lbs) champion - Matt Hughes. Of course it was all the sweeter for George to win because he is such a nice guy. Humble, a great ambassador for the sport and genuinely excited to be there. His opponent Matt Hughes is just an arrogant dildo or as Matt Sera would say... "He's just a penis". So when George beat him in the octagon I was stoked. Not only did he take the belt from Matt Hughes, but he also did it with authority. Matt was manhandled and George just dominated the fight. In one fell swoop, GSP (George St Pierre) redeemed his loss against Matt Hughes and established without a doubt that he was the better fighter by kicking Matt's ass only a minute and change into the second round of a 5 round fight. Awesome. I think GSP will dominate his weight class for some time to come. I look forward to watching him defend his new title sometime early in 2007. More great fights to come.

Riding with Attitude - Don Norris

Well I finally finished "Riding with Attitude" by Don Norris. It was a pretty entertaining book by a Canadian author about his life and experiences with motorcycles, motorcycle gangs, and riding associations. Definitely worth the read if you're into riding a motorcycle or have thought about getting one. The author articulates his experiences very well despite getting up on his soapbox to preach about the Police and their alleged abuse of power. He is careful not to paint all officers of the law with the same brush but tries to make a case that they lack morals when dealing with bikers and riding groups. Since I personally haven't felt this type of persecution I have a hard time sympathizing with Don on this point. He does paint a vivid picture of some of his adventures and adds a comic element to some of the mishaps that are bound to happen to you when you own a motorcycle. It was definitely a pleasure to read.

I recieved this book from my ex-girlfriend for my birthday back in September and I'm glad I finally had a chance to read it through. If you're still reading my blog, thank you for the great gift! :)

The Grape Escape

Mmmmmmmmm liquor.

Not a bad way to start the weekend. A good friend of mine thought I could use a distraction from life and picked up a couple tickets for us to attend "The Grape Escape". So we headed down to the corral (a convention/conference center area on the stampede grounds here in Calgary) and took in a wine tasting event hosted by the local Calgary Co-Op liquor stores. Everything the co-op carried was there for us to sample. Crackers, deli meats, cheeses, and a bunch of other delectable snack items were available for munching on while sipping some really great wines. What I didn't realize was that there would be other alcohol there besides wine. Of course the co-op liquor stores carry other spirits too, and we had a chance to sample some great beers and some tasty liqueurs too. Oh man, you have to try Bailey's Caramel. Nice.

The trick to these things is to get there early and make your way to the last vendor and start there. You skip the lines and get to sample a few more things. You might also want to bring something to carry stuff in too. The snack tray that holds your wine glass and the appetizers is a little cumbersome to manipulate at times. Plus you pick up a few freebies along the way and it gets to be a pain in the ass trying to carry everything with you. Lots of fun.

It was interesting to see such a mix of crowd too. There were the folks that I expected to see at a wine tasting. The older types, dressed conservatively, holding their wine glasses appropriately for the type of wine they are sipping. They don't drink it, but pour it out after each sample. They make sure their pallet is fresh for each sample and their wine glass is rinsed after each tasting. They are the type of person you would look at and say... "there goes a wine snob".

Yet for every "wine snob" there were 2 or 3 other types of tasters too. Younger types, that look like they had a free ticket and were looking for something different to do on a Friday night. "Wine Snob" wannabe's. There were middle aged types that were intent on sampling as much free liquor as possible and then there patrons that appeared to be like Christian and I. They were curious about the samples, and enjoyed the event for what it was, but they were also there to enjoy some of the eye candy. It was a social opportunity to meet other folks without the perceived pressures of a bar scene. It was quite comical once you recognized them as like minded guests. The women of this variety sure dressed very provocatively for a simple wine tasting event. Their candy looked good enough to eat if you know what I mean. Plunging neck lines, form hugging dresses, and lots of make up. Some of them had breasts that seemed to defy gravity. wow.

It was definitely a great way to distract myself from the daily grind. I didn't take home any phone numbers, although I wasn't really trying to either. If I had been thinking, I would have at least found a date for my upcoming xmas party. I did enjoy some great wine, frothy beer, and some great cream liqueurs. Still I managed to catch the occasional smile carelessly sent in my direction. Good for the ego. Of course I realize that it is an alcohol induced grin, possibly at a funny joke a vendor just told, but I'm ok with that. I'll stick to my version of reality and remember the event however I like. ;) I think the hot brunette with the great décolletage and the cute dimples was smiling at me.

What happened to good service?

Is it just me or does good service just not exist anymore in Alberta? It seems like everywhere you go poor service crops up. Good service is non-existent, average service would be nice to have, but poor to bad service really reigns supreme right now. Why is that?

I have a couple of theories. I think the economic climate in Alberta has had an influence on service standards. Jobs are plentiful. It seems like there are shortages of staff everywhere you turn. Gas stations are closing because they can’t find people to work the shifts they need. Restaurants can’t find cooks and so they are closing earlier and earlier at night. Stores are practically devoid of anyone you might want to ask a question of. God forbid you walk down any aisle in Home Depot trying to find someone to ask about the type of fitting you need for your bathroom shower fixtures. When you do find someone, you get a very curt reply or you are told that he doesn’t know. Normally the person would make a best guess… or if you are really lucky, they would take you to someone actually knows what you want.

The reason I think the number of jobs has an effect, is because employees know that if they don’t like their job they can always go find another one. There is no incentive to do a good job if another one is waiting around the corner. Many times employees just walk off the job if they are not happy and don’t even bother to give notice. If the employer asks their staff to smile, be courteous or go out of their way to help someone, it is often too much to ask of the staff member who is just there till the next best thing comes along. Employers have a hard enough time finding staff, that a lot of stuff slides that would normally incur a reprimand.

Of course that’s not to say that all the burden of poor service rests solely on the employee. Many employers are so short staffed that the employees that they do have are asked to do way more than is reasonable. Staff are asked to pull an evening shift one night, then the morning shift on the back of it. Barely 8 hours between shifts. A place that requires 10 people to run smoothly is getting by on 6 and a ½. Duties are piled on top of one another and so it makes it difficult for an employee to go above and beyond and do anything extra at all. The dedicated staff can barely keep up to the bare minimum requirements and still manage a smile. So of course when a better paying job comes along, they jump on it. Especially if the duties and shifts are more to their liking. The customer is the one that suffers though.

With these two factors weighing heavily on the quality of service, it is no wonder that employers feel gouged trying to keep up to the demands of higher and higher wages just to keep staff. Of course it’s harder to instill good values and work ethic into new workers that know they can move from one job to the next with no consequences either. When does this finally reach a peak and begin to equalize? That is a good question. A downturn in the economy will most likely help to balance this out. Less money, more businesses close, and less need for staff will start to correct this problem. Of course the economy can continue to grow, but we still need the people to staff the positions. With enough staff the balance can be maintained as well. People are willing to move to Calgary for a job, but if it doesn’t pay enough, how will they find affordable housing? Or affordable transportation? Or affordable living expenses. It’s a vicious circle.

What I do know is this: If businesses continue to provide poor service it will hurt them in the long run. Loyal customers will abandon them and when things start to normalize these businesses will regret not taking better care of the public. In the end, the customer always wins.

How can they get away with it?

You think you have problems until you hear someone else’s story. I just found out that my sister has been a victim of fraud. She is getting married in May to a pretty nice guy and she is now in the middle of wedding preparations. She has to worry about all sorts of stuff I wouldn’t even think is important. Basically she is planning an event that is pivotal to her ongoing happiness in life.

Her fiancé bought her a really nice ring that has an estimated value of over 2 thousand dollars. Unfortunately it didn’t fit just right. Naturally she decided to go get it resized. She took it to a reputable jewelry store to take care of this and they sent it away to get altered to fit Michelle’s finger. Imagine her shock when she got it back and a number of the diamonds look like they had been altered. Cloudy, scratched and even just dull looking in comparison to their lustrous brethren.

She took it back to the jewelers’ where she had the work done and brought it to their attention. Expecting a quick response and an understanding ear, she was met with indignation and a “so what” attitude. Nasty. I couldn’t believe it when I heard about this. She was of course – livid. I mean she was pissed! My sister is not a dumb cookie and can be pretty assertive when she wants to be so she didn’t take it sitting down. Of course when Mr. Fiancé found out about the behavior of the jewelry store, he went down there to give em hell.

I think Michelle picked a good one in the guy she is taking up to the alter. He managed to speak with the manager and has finally sorted out the problems. I believe Michelle’s ring is now getting restored to the way it should have been. I don’t imagine the jeweler want’s that kind of blemish to get out to the public. It would be very difficult getting business if many people found out that you were ripping people off and substituting sub par diamonds for the originals on your sparkly stuff.

I was flabbergasted to think a place would try to be so underhanded and then be so indignant about it after. Amazing how they can get away with crap like this. I think if it had been me talking to a clerk in a jewelry store about my fiancé’s ring, someone would have had their lights punched out.

My New Jeep

Do you remember last week some time around Wednesday? I mentioned that I finally had something positive to look forward to? Well, it came true. I managed to swap pieces of paper with the former owner and I took possesion of my new Jeep Liberty Sport (2002) . Yaaaay and there was much rejoicing. I'm totally stoked to have a new ride and not have to walk everywhere anymore. It has plenty of power and only has a couple of minor things that I need to take care of on it to make it solid. I think I managed to get a pretty good deal on it too. I bought it for probably 2 - 3 thousand less than most other Jeep's of this year and mileage. It does, however, go through a bit more fuel than my civic, so I'm going to have to keep an eye on that. It's really a good thing that I only put on about 17000 kms a year to the vehicles that I drive. Less driving of course means less fuel consumption. Still, I like my new grocery wagon. :)

Cinescape Capers

Many of my friends know how much I enjoy playing darts. I play in league 2wice a week, sometimes I'll play in a jitney or tournament on the weekends and on Thursdays at lunch I play cricket over at Cinescape with a bunch of folks. The Thursday lunch escape is really a lot of fun. No one goes there to be really competitive or gets pissed off if they don't do well. We play cricket and play till we run out of time.

So one of the guys from Shell (a regular on Thursdays) has organized a little cricket jitney twice a year. Once in the fall and once in the spring. Ray usually has 15 - 20 spots open and it fills up every time. Cinescape hosts it and provides us with some snack food, some consolation prizes and the grand prize for the winner. They really go out of their way to make us feel at home. Service is always good there too, and you never have to wait long to find a cold frosty one in your hand.

The last couple of times I went to this tourney I didn't do that well but this time I did better than fair. Darren Gunderson took 1st place (he is also ranked in the top 5 in Alberta as far competitive dart players go). My very good friend Christian took 2nd place. Christian is what many consider a dart prodigy. If he puts in the time and wants to go places, I'm sure he could rank in the top 5 in Canada in the next couple of years. We are very competitive with each other and our best games are usually against one another. I really enjoy playing against both Darren and Christian. Well, after placing in the middle of the pack in the last go 'round, I managed to finish 3rd in this event. I am pleased to finish in such good company.

It was a great little Jitney and I think everyone there had a great time. I'm sure that it will fill up again in the spring. I guess I'll have to make sure I keep that Friday afternoon open so I can try to improve my position once again! :)

Something Positive.

Ok... so enough negatives for the moment. How about something positive? Well, I have just the thing. This cheers me up a whole bunch! I think I may have found a replacment vehicle. It meets all of my requirements despite falling short on some of the luxury things I was looking for. It will have 4x4, cruise, air, and power gadgets. It will also be able to tow about 5000 lbs as well. I still haven't traded money for the ownership papers yet, so it's not completely in the bag. Also, it just snowed a bunch here in Calgary too - what do you suppose the odds are that the current owner has gotten into a fender bender before I get to pick it up? Ok ok, I know I need to think positive, I'm sure the current owner hasn't done anything disasterous to it, but I don't want to get too excited just yet. Once I have the keys and the plate is on it, then I will allow myself to do the dance of joy. Whoo hoo! What it is it? I'll give you a hint...

I was mistaken...

Well,

It turns out I was mistaken. I posted "Goodbye My Friend" as sort of a farewell to my relationship with my ex girlfriend. I had a lot of warm feelings for her and thought I would express them here. It turns out that she didn't see it that way at all. She sent me a very trite email expressing her anger towards me and my blog. It was at that point I realized that I have been really blind, or that I have been choosing to ignore what is in front of my face. We didn't break up on friendly terms. Agree to disagree as it were. I thought that's what was happening. I thought just because we didn't see eye to eye on an important issue that we could still be nice to each other even though we were no longer together. I really thought that at least a friendship could be salvaged but I was mistaken. I don't believe I have said an unkind word to her since things rolled to a stop. Yet her correspondance with me has been nothing short of cold, if not aggressive.

Well, I think I've come to the conclusion that despite my desire to be friends with her, she wants none of it. So with that truth smacking me in the face it really is done. No more friendship, no pleasantries, no kind words... nothing. I don't like burning a bridge but I guess that is what I have done. Time to close this door and open a new one as they say.

A fond Farewell

It seems I’m only destined for heartache. It’s been a tough year I tell ya. Sometimes you can have some wonderful things happen to you, but the sorrows in life seem to take up all your focus. It becomes quite easy to forget all the good stuff in your life. So take it from me, spend a few minutes every day appreciating the good things you have going for you.

You must be wondering what the hell I am talking about. Well, this last month has seen a couple downers that force me to moan about it online. First – I have parted ways with my trusty ride – Honda Civic
(you can find more pictures on my gallery site). It was a great little car, not very flashy, but reliable and good on gas. I didn’t treat it too badly and in return I got exactly what I needed from it. It wasn’t particularly flashy or full of comfort rich features. It took me from a – b without complaint though. I was planning on upgrading that little soap box car, but hadn’t thought I would need to for another year or so. I was just getting used to having a car paid for and having a few extra bucks in my pocket each month. Then, *POW*, right in the kisser, I get into an accident. Not just any accident, mind you, only a 60 car pile up on a major commuter route here in Calgary (calf robe bridge for those who are familiar with this city). I was lucky enough to walk away from it with nothing more than a little bit of whiplash. Otherwise I am doing pretty good. The direct result of course is that I now have to walk everywhere or rely on publish transportation. Errands have come to a halt and I torture my friends with requests for rides to various parts of the city. Now I am looking at the wonderful world of used cars again. *sigh* I really don’t like talking to slimy car salesmen and trying to haggle down to a price that sorta represents what the actual value of the car should be. What can you do though? It is, however, an opportunity to upgrade my ride and get something with a few more of those comfort features I missed out on with the civic. It was a great 8 years with that little civic.