That doesn't sound particularly confident does it? I suppose in a way it isn't. I mean *I* know that I'm a catch. I have lots of great qualities to offer beyond physical attraction. I'm pretty sure any girl would be lucky to have me. I guess I just have never been "that guy" which all the girls are drawn to. Perhaps it's better this way though. At least when someone finally decides that they want to try dating me, they've pretty much got it figured out and know that I'm worth it - at least beyond the physical sense I suppose.
After my last relationship I did a lot of soul searching and tried to figure out what it was that I really wanted from a relationship, and whether or not someone else out there wants the same thing. I've also changed my views on Long Term Relationships (LTR's for short) and what they mean to me as well.
I've come to the conclusion that most people get together for some sort of short term need. Whether that is sex, a combined income, similar travel desires, or even just someone to go dancing with. When people decide that they want an LTR, there is usually some subconscious thing that the other person provides for them that makes them feel "fulfilled".
Sometimes a girl is looking for a father figure, or the boy needs a "mother' to take care of him, or one of the two is an introvert and needs and extrovert to bring them out of their shell. Once these subconscious needs are fulfilled, then the need for the relationship goes away. Maybe the boy has turned into an extrovert as well and no longer needs another extrovert to help him get there. Now he needs an introvert in his life instead. Whatever the reason, 2 people will suddenly find themselves incompatible because they have "grown" as people. Sometimes relationships end well when both people realize that they have grown in different directions, can acknowledge that and comfortably move on. However when one person outgrows the other, it usually ends badly. One has grown, while the other has not.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, because understanding this has helped me to see that my idea of a Long Term Relationship needs to change. I no longer look at a relationship as something that will last forever after. It is rare to see two people that continually grow but not outgrow each other. I hope that I find a relationship with someone where we end up in a lifelong journey together and continually find new reasons for loving the other person.
Maybe I'm a little jaded though. I'm not sure that my next relationship will be my last. I hope it is, but if it isn't I recognize why it will likely end sooner than one of us desires. You'd think that would keep me from wanting to dip my toe in the dating pool. I guess I still desire the companionship that comes from having someone close to you. So even knowing that it won't be a "forever" thing, I still want to enjoy what I can from my next relationship. Growing and learning about myself is still a good thing. :o)
I guess that just leaves me with a decision about how to get there. I've had some great experiences with online dating, so why mess with a good thing? I'll probably try a new service like Plenty of Fish or Match.com. I've tried some other dating sites before, but I think it's time for a change. That just leaves me with the task of coming up with a good description, some great photos and some confidence in myself!
Lets do this thing!
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